I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
