I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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