We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
