I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
