mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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