i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
