so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize