Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I want a musical about memes.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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