I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
