i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
