well I can't set my house on fire every night
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
