There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
