shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
