well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
