I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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