I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
