He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it's like heaven, but drunker
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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