My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
