it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
