you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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