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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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