Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
