You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
