Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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