Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She needs sedatives and a leash
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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