I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
