Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my shit smells like andre
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
