Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
