I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
