She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
