he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
