Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
