Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
