You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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