1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
