Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
