So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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