Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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