Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
