What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We had to coat check the pizza.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
