on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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