Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
