32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
