I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
