i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
