bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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