she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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