were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
