party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
