is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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