He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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