Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
