Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
