She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize