I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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