Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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