fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
