Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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