Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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