Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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