Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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