i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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