I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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