I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
