He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
