I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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