Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
